Burning Man, Clay Coolidge
My final You'd Be Mine short, a week out from a dual summertime book release...
Whew! We made it! One week to go before I have TWO romances out in the world. I am SO STUPID EXCITED for you all to meet and fall in love with More Than Maybe’s Luke Greenly and Vada Carsewell. I met Luke a decade ago while writing an ill-fated YA science fiction trilogy. He was an adorkable, introverted British big brother character who inspired a weird kind of fervent adoration in anyone who happened to read about him. So much so that I couldn’t let him go and when this story came along, I knew it was his. I was positive Vada was his soul mate. Vada, with her chaotic therapy dancing and lyric-obsession and grunge-girl personality. No one could be more worthy of or more perfectly fitted to Luke’s soft cupcake heart.
You will loooooove them.
In honor of More Than Maybe’s release, I’ve put together a playlist of all the songs and/or artists that inspired or were mentioned throughout the story. Lots of early readers have created their own playlists or pulled up YouTube to follow along with Luke and Vada… I just wanted to make things a little easier if you want the official, official soundtrack. So if you’re interested, you can find it and listen here!
The paperback of You’d Be Mine and the hardcover of More Than Maybe will be available on July 21st. Releasing in the midst of a pandemic and the lazy days of summer is tough! The usual fanfare is a little bit impossible, but I’d LOVE to see your copies of either of these books in the wild next week! I’m so sad I won’t be able to celebrate with you all in person, but I *do* have three live online events happening. Please join me as I talk books, romance and music, as well as answer any of your questions!
Thursday, July 23rd at 7pm EST
Hosted by Nicolas Books in Ann Arbor, MI
Erin Hahn in conversation with NYT’s Bestselling author of A Curse So Dark and Lonely, Brigid Kemmerer.
Free registration for the link, here.
Wednesday, July 29th at 7pm EST
Hosted by One More Page Books in Arlington, VA
Erin Hahn in conversation with OMP associate Amanda Quain
Free registration for the link, here.
Sunday, August 2nd at 3pm EST
Hosted by Porter Square Books in Cambridge, MA
Erin Hahn in conversation with NYT’s Best Selling author of One Of Us is Lying, Karen McManus
Link to come.
I overheard (read: eaves-dropped ) on a conversation between two book bloggers who were talking about how realistic contemporary fiction was going to be obsolete for the coming year because of Covid. There’s little authors can do about this, obviously. We wrote these now alternative-reality stories a year or more ago and they can’t be changed. And honestly, I’m no so sure I would change my stories even if I could! They’re a snapshot of an (imaginary) world and I think it’s okay to preserve that. Annie and Clay are clearly not on a summer tour right now, but so many readers have reached out to say they have appreciated the escape from reality my two country music kids have provided during this time. I think its okay to enjoy sweet things, even if they aren’t realistic.
That said, stay tuned for a little piece of news that should come out in the next week or two… I’ve been cooking up a sweet and swoony surprise for you all that, for once, embraces the chaos and confusion of our current reality. :)
FINALLY, I get asked a lot if I’m going to continue on with Clay and Annie’s story, and the short answer is probably not. The thing about writing YA romance, is that the HEA (Happily Ever After) is presumed to last forever, but that forever is long and complicated! They have decades to go! So much can happen in that time. Not everyone meets their forever love at 18, but in YA romance, we kind of like to think they are the exception.
I don’t want to mess with that. Clay and Annie, Fitz and Kacey, Luke and Vada, Cullen and Zack (the latter two couples you’ll meet in More Than Maybe)… To me, they’re Capital E- Capital G- End Game. If readers choose to imagine differently, they’re welcome to that, but didn’t we just talk about how, in these uncertain times, it’s kind of amazing to just go all in on the happy endings?
Besides, haven’t I hurt poor Clay enough? As you’ll see in a minute, this was kind of the theme for my third (and final *sniff*) You’d Be Mine short. Jefferson Clay Coolidge has been through A LOT for a kid of 18 and I really just wanted to reassure all my readers that he’s doing well. He’s gonna make it and he’s got Annie by his side.
So, without further ado, here’s Clay…
BURNING MAN
What a difference a year makes.
Going home used to make me edgier than fuck. I was a stranger in my own skin, in my own old house, drunkenly passing out in my own bed. Things are mostly different now. When Maggie approached me about her annual memorial night at Taps, I was grateful I hadn’t burned my bridges with her after nearly causing her to close down last summer, due to my underage intoxicated brawling. I even offered to perform the song I wrote for my brother, Danny. To sweeten the pot, I promised A.) to bring her favorite singer and my girlfriend, Annie Mathers, along, B.) I wouldn’t think twice about helping myself to alcohol. Not only am I still underage, but I’ve been sober nearly eleven months and counting and C.) I wouldn’t punch anyone. No matter what. Not even if they’re an idiot spouting off ignorant bullshit.
But, above all else, I swore I would be there, and I would see it through in honor of Danny.
Which seems like it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but you’d be wrong. This place holds too many memories and zero buffer. I went to the cemetery first thing upon hitting town, and instead of pitching empty beer bottles at his headstone this year, I broke tradition and laid an envelope in his daughter’s Crayola scrawl next to his name. I didn’t read it, but I’m sure it’s smart and full of sweetness, just like Layla.
“They’ve moved into Grandpa’s place,” I tell him. “Shined it up a bit. You’d barely recognize it without all the deer heads on the walls. But they made your kid nervous,” I explain. “She said they followed her with their eyeballs, whatever that means.”
“I took them down and put them in storage,” I continue. “For what, I don’t know. Maybe one day if I settle into my own place for real, I’ll have one of those man caves and I’ll hang them up, so they can follow me with their eyeballs while I take naps and watch PGA golf.”
I squat down and brush at the grass clippings that have stuck to the stone in the humidity. “Lindy met someone, Danny. She probably already told you.” I squint against the sun and stare at the leaves rusting in the breeze before clearing my throat. “I know I promised I’d keep guys away from your girls, but I don’t think you meant it for after you were gone.” I release a slow breath through my teeth. “It’s weird as shit, honestly. I came home, and he was there, at the table, Layla in his lap, writing this letter for you.” I gesture to the envelope and swallow hard. “He fits, though. Maggie likes him. Annie does, too. Well. Annie says she ‘likes him for Lindy.’ I might not be a very good judge of character, but Annie usually is.”
I stand up, tucking my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “Anyway, his name is Paul and he’s a goddamn fireman.” A chuckle gurgles up, wet, in my throat. “Didn’t think you get more noble than a goddamn marine, but he’s close. Has a mustache that you would make fun of. But maybe that’s only because you couldn’t grow one. I know I can’t, and I’m nearly older than you were when…”
I sniff loudly, shaking my head. “Anyway. Fitz says ‘Hi.’ He’ll probably be here soon. He’s fixing to ask his girlfriend, Kacey, to marry him. Got the ring and everything. I wish you’d met her. You’d love her for him. She plays him into the ground on her fiddle and doesn’t take his shit. She’s Annie’s cousin. So, runs in the family. Annie doesn’t take my shit, either.
“I might marry Annie. Not now, of course. Fitz is crazy for asking so young. Annie would kick my ass. But later, you know? In a few years, when her granddad stops glaring at me and the paparazzi quit following our every move. We could have some babies and just be. Of course, you’ll miss that too. Smallest wedding ever, honestly. We have no family left between us.”
I remove my hands from my pockets and grip my car keys, considering. “Well. But we’d have each other; Annie and me. We do have each other. That’s all that matters.”
I stare, unblinking and unmoving for a long moment, reading but not really taking in the letters carved into his stone. I hear a car door off in the distance and instinctively duck my head, tugging on the brim of my ball cap. Time to go.
I walk up to the stone and place a hand on the surface. It’s been warmed by the sun and the marble is smooth under my palm. “I love you, Brother. I’ll talk to you soon.”
***
That night, Tap’s is packed. Maggie put in a patio out back for overflow this past spring and it’s real nice. There’s an outdoor bar surrounded by plenty of seating and multiple small bonfire pits. A low stage is set up off to the side and a well-lit, wood-planked dance floor is filled with couples. It doesn’t look half bad against the backdrop of cornfields and dirt roads. The sun is low in the summertime sky and lightning bugs are starting to glitter all over.
Annie glides up to me, sipping from a glass of her usual ginger ale.
“You ready for this?”
My eyes catch for a beat on the way her full red lips press against the straw, before nodding. “More than.”
She comes closer, putting down her drink and reaching for my hand. She threads her fingers with mine before tipping her head onto my shoulder and yawning, hugely.
“Are we boring you, Miss Mathers?”
Her head rolls back and forth. “Just life catching up to me. When we’re traveling, the adrenaline keeps me going strong, but once we stop, it’s like I lose all momentum and want to curl up and hibernate.”
“Hibernating sounds perfect,” I agree. There’s nothing in the world like touring, but I can feel the exhaustion weighing on my bones.
“After tonight,” she says. “First, take care of your family. Then you can come and hide out with me in my hotel room and we’ll live off room service and watch trash cable TV until Trina comes knocking.”
I turn my head to place a kiss on the top of her frizzy curls. “You have a deal.”
We stand together, linked and watching as Fitz and Kacey stomp around the dance floor and Jason scowls at his phone in the corner while nursing his root beer.
“What’s with Diaz?”
Annie’s shoulders shift in a soft sigh. “Who knows. Probably something to do with Daitin Trace, though. Her manager reached out asking if Jason would be interested in replacing their drummer for a short fall tour. I think he wants to do it, but I’m not sure she’s ready to reunite.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Really?”
Annie picks up her head. “Yeah, obviously you know they used to date, but there’s a little more to it. Something about her big brother being his mentor at camp and then he and Jason stayed friends, until he died last year, and the drummer position was actually his prior to his passing. Complications all over the damn place.”
“Yikes.”
“Right.”
I glance back at Diaz. He’s still wearing the scowl, but he’s put his phone away. He catches my eye and makes his way over. “You about ready, Coolidge?”
I check the watch on Annie’s wrist. “Yep. Let’s see if we can’t get the fiddlers to take a break and join us.”
A few minutes later, I’m plugged in and standing in front of my mic.
Under the glare of the stage light, I can see Lindy, Layla on her hip, and Paul all mustached-up next to her, his brawny arm around protective around her shoulders. Maggie’s got hands clasped casually in front of her apron, a small content smile playing on her lips. She’s standing beneath the giant banner that reads my brother’s name.
The crowd is big enough out here. With zero publicity, I suspect half of these folks showed up, hoping for a repeat of last year’s disaster.
But they’ll be disappointed. I’m not that guy anymore.
Fitz is on one side of me, his eyes already glinting suspiciously. I was right. He went to see Danny after I did. Returning to this town is always gonna be difficult. No way around it.
He places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it once, before positioning his bow, ready and willing for my command.
I lean to the mic. “My brother would’ve hated this, I think,” I say, shaking my head. “He never liked to make a fuss about anything, especially not for his own benefit. But,” I continue, feeling Annie’s warm and reassuring presence on my other side, “he’s not here. He should be here--I wish he was here--I’d trade all of this for him to be here. But that’s not how life works. So instead we’re having a party in his honor. A chance to celebrate and remember him and his life and his sacrifice. It’s taken me a while to be able to do that, but I’m learning. And part of that learning is honoring him with my music. Danny always loved my music. Before anyone else thought I was worth the shirt on my back, Danny was my biggest fan.
“And,” I swallow against the thickness in my throat. “I was his.”
I need a moment, so I step back and reach for my bottle of water. Annie, knowing me better than I know myself, steps in front of the mic, her guitar, and her beautiful heart, at the ready. Always.
“I never got to meet Danny. I really wish I had. But knowing Jefferson and Layla and Lindy and Fitz has shown me pieces of this man, enough to know he was special.”
She glances at me, checking to make sure I’m okay, and starts to strum the opening chords of my song. I nod, taking a deep breath and step up to the mic.
I can do this. Surrounded by the people I love the most, I can face this moment without him.
My guitar strumming matches hers, and this time, for the first time, I don’t close my eyes to see my brother. I don’t need to. He’s not hidden in the back of my mind anymore. His memory is everywhere I look in all the people I see and love.
And I’m finally ready to face it all.
Listen to Burning Man by Dierks Bentley
Listening to:
March On by The Chicks
Ain’t Always the Cowboy by Jon Pardi
Anything, Anything by Dramarama
Watching:
Outlander
The new Netflix version of Unsolved Mysteries
Reading:
I just came back from vacation and while there, I binge read so many wonderful adult romances…
The Bromance Bookclub by Lissa Kay Adams
Undercover Bromance by Lissa Kay Adams
The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jimenez *** MY FAVORITE
The Bride Test by Helen Hoang
Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren